Taking care of them….What about me?

When our kids are born, we watch for anything and everything that may show signs of unhappiness. “Why are they crying?” Ok, I will feed them. Ok, I will change their diaper. Ok, I will rock them, hug them, and hold them….anything to make sure they are fine.

As they get older, we may be more careful about scraped knees, bad colds or a big bruise. We take them to urgent care, the doctor’s office, or even the emergency room.  Whatever it takes to keep them safe.

When they are teenagers it becomes a little trickier. They are in their rooms, not communicating. Are they sick? Are they depressed? Some parents may just leave them be and others keep checking. Both parents are worried.

Through these years of parenting, we, moms and dads, spend a great deal of time thinking about our children and their happiness. Yet, how much time do we spend worrying about our own happiness? How much time do we give to ourselves to internalize why we may not be happy? Do we just go through the motions of life ignoring our own issues not adequately looking for personal relief?

When we are parents, we often forget to ask, “When is it time to take care of me?”

When we forget about ourselves for too long the effects can be negative. Just think about waiting too long to see the dentist when your tooth is hurting.  Can you say, “root canal?” Or, waiting a long time to see the eye doctor when you can’t see well. Can you say, “headaches?” The same goes with one who puts aside mental health issues. These issues have a tendency to grow when pushed aside for too long causing potential heartache.

When our kids cried, we figured out what they needed. When an adult seems to be crying more often than normal, when is it time to starting figuring out why? It is not necessary to “bottom out” on an issue or a life event to seek out therapy. Being proactive or catching issues before they grow too big can be a way of taking care of oneself. Then, when others need us, we are stronger and healthier to assist them.

Whether you are being proactive or something seems to have gotten out of hand call me and set up an appointment. In the end, your positive mental health will mean better things for you and those you love.