SK Doctoroff Counseling and Therapy in Southfield Michigan


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Posted by Stacy Doctoroff on 10/31/2014



You’re sitting on the couch and can’t find it in you to get up. You’re leaving work and all you feel like doing is getting home and doing nothing.  You wake up in the morning feeling torn between exercise and the snooze button and the snooze button usually wins. Where is your motivation? Did you lose it? When do you remember last having it? Do you feel as if you have ever felt motivated?

 As mentioned in Psychology Today, How to get motivated (, “It’s the crucial element in setting and attaining goals – and research shows you can influence your own levels of motivation and self-control.”  What does that mean to you? You may think, “So, I set a goal….how is that going to get me motivated?”

 It takes more than setting a goal; it takes a mind-set. At different times of our lives we may have decided we wanted something and we went after it. That is the definition of motivation.  We see an idea or an event we want to get to and we are willing to endure whatever it takes to get to that point.  More often than not, we have to work through different obstacles to get to our final goal. These obstacles may include: not giving up, the physical or mental challenge that it may take, time constraints, work or family. Yet, what does it feel like when you have reached that goal? Is it euphoric? If this is the feeling you get then forcing yourself to be motivated it is worth all of the hard effort.

 In Todd B. Kashdan, Ph.d.’s article, “16 Ways to Motivate Anyone” (Psychology Today July 14, 2014), he talks about intrinsic and extrinsic goal content. Is it better to be motivated from the inside of oneself (intrinsic) or from what others may think of them (extrinsic) or can we combine these and then prioritize them in order to become the best and happiest person we can be? Each person has to decide whether they work best with intrinsic or extrinsic motivations and then follow that path. Also, be aware, that different situations may help guide which of the two motivational patterns will work best. Ask yourself, for whom are you completing this task? The answer may give you that internal or external motivation that has been lacking.

 What will it take to get you to change jobs; exercise; take the next step in a relationship?

 If you are having a difficult time getting motivated or figuring out what or who can motivate you, make an appointment and let me help you through a goal setting dialogue. At different times in our lives it takes talking these things out to decide the best way for you to reach your goals.


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